What's the deal with low libido?!

February 19, 2020

You don’t have to look far to see examples of sex-positivity in the world today. It’s amazing, and we here at WAXON are absolutely here for it! Allowing people the space to talk about what gets them off, consensual sex, or the sexual spectrum creates positive leaps forward for our society and can bring a voice to groups of people who may have previously felt cut-off from the overall narrative around sex.  

However, if you just found yourself Googling “what’s up with my libido?”, being bombarded with sex-positive messaging might feel a little overwhelming. Experiencing changes to your sex drive can cause worry and stress, both on yourself and potentially your relationship. But there are some causes that you might be able to address!  

What does “low libido” even mean? 

First, we need to understand what “low libido” is. There is no scientific line in the sand that says anything over this is high and anything under this is low (and if there is a statistic out there, it’s based on averages and not unique human experiences). If you’re a person who has regularly felt horny and had sex often, and that changes, your sex drive is no longer normal for you and it would be fair to say you’ve experienced a change in libido. If you’re someone who hasn’t been too interested in sex (because hello, those people exist!), but suddenly you can’t stomach the thought of it at all, that’s a change in your libido.  

The bottom line: if you’re having less sex than you used to have, that’s a change in libido. If you’re having less sex than your best friend, that’s a comparison - and we don’t play that game here.  

It could be hormonal 

Your hormones play a huge role in regulating your sex drive, and there are honestly too many things that could affect their balance. We’ve listed out a few for you. Take a look and see if anything below has changed for you recently: 

• Birth control (the Pill especially): if you’ve recently started, switched, or gotten off of the pill, there has probably been a change to your hormones.  

• Stress: stress affects the adrenal gland, which is used to make estrogen and testosterone, hormones vital for sex drive. 
• Hormonal disorders: hormonal imbalance can be a complication from a few different disorders, such as PCOS, over/under active thyroid, or diabetes. 
• Life change: If you’re pregnant or going through menopause, your hormones are on that ride with you!  

It could be psychological 

Our brains play a role in sex just as much as our bodies do. Desire and libido are complicated and very entwined with our emotional well-being, not just our physical well-being. Just like with hormonal causes, there are a lot of reasons why your brain might not be that into sex right now. We’ve covered a few of them for you below: 

• Low self-esteem: let’s face it, sometimes it’s hard as hell to be comfortable in our own skin. If you’re not feeling like your best self, it can be hard to show up for sex.  
• Mental health: if you’re experiencing anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges, your brain can be a bit too preoccupied to focus on getting down and dirty. 

• Sexual trauma: if you’ve experienced sexual trauma in the past, your relationship to sex might be complicated and could affect your libido.  

Libido changes happen to lots of people, and for so many different reasons. If you saw something above that you related to, it might be time to dig a little deeper into the root causes. A sexy new lingerie set can only get you so far. But don’t worry, you got this!